Some parents find it useful to act this out or to use a doll or teddy bear to demonstrate taking a time-out. Use simple terms: "When you get too wild or act in a way that Mommy and Daddy don't think is a good idea, I will call, 'Time-out.' That means you will sit in this chair for a little while until you can calm yourself down." Between ages 2 and 3, you'll probably notice that she's better able to understand cause and effect.īut don't spring the tactic on her in a burst of frustration – a time-out works best if it's explained ahead of time. When your child can follow simple directions and has a slightly longer attention span, she's ready for a more traditional time-out. Emphasizing positive reinforcement for good behavior and teaching your child alternate behaviors when he starts to misbehave work far better than simply punishing bad behavior, says the AAP. Be sure to give your child praise and encouragement when he behaves well. The AAP says it's also important not to view discipline only in terms of time-outs and negative consequences. It also painlessly introduces your child to the idea of a cooling-off period. Taking a time-in with you disrupts the spiral of negative behavior while avoiding the battle of wills that a more formal time-out can incite. Start by taking time-outs togetherīefore your child is ready for a solitary time-out, you can introduce the idea by taking what some parenting experts call a positive time-out together, or a "time-in." When your child gets revved up and borders on losing control, say, "Let's take a time-out to read a book until we feel better." Any quiet activity, such as listening to music, lying down, or putting together a simple puzzle, will work. Otherwise she won't understand why she's being corrected, and you may get frustrated and abandon the strategy prematurely. Until your toddler can appreciate the need to follow rules, limit the use of time-outs. For example, if he catches you doing something you normally wouldn't allow him to do – say, eating a snack on the sofa – he may say, "You're not supposed to do that, Mommy." One clue is if he reminds you of the rules when you break them, too. Watch for signs that he understands what's acceptable and what's not. So if you keep breakables within reach, don't be surprised to hear the occasional crash. And remember that toddlers are naturally curious and like to explore and touch.
In that case, the best thing is to sit down with him and find out what's wrong. If your toddler is whining, crying, or sulking, he doesn't need a time-out – he's probably feeling frustrated or disappointed. Then be consistent whenever your child breaks the rules. Reserve time-outs for things like hitting or continuing to disobey. Then reward him with positive attention as soon as he calms down, rather than after sitting for a certain period of time.Īnd make sure you're giving time-outs for the right reasons. The AAP says that to make a time-out work for your 12- to 24-month-old, it's important to act immediately (while the unwanted behavior is happening) and tell him calmly in no more than 10 words why he has to sit down and be still. Instead, think of a time-out as the "quiet time" your toddler needs to calm down and get his emotions under control. Until he's a little older, your child won't have the self-control and reasoning skills to make a traditional time-out effective. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says it's okay to give children as young as 1 a time-out – but it's best only as a last resort.
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